No, It's MINE...

Up until a few months ago I knew what a blog was but had never read one.  My time was better spent on facebook spending time with my family :)  We lived in military housing and one day I just got an itch.  I was sick of living in housing.  I wanted a nice house with a big backyard for my boys.  The school district we lived in was not horrible but it wasn't the best.  Who doesn't want the best for the ones they love?  Hubbie and I dreamed of owning our own home but we didn't think it would happen anytime soon.  That was our One Day Dream...  We would have a fabulous house...one day... we would have a big backyard and a beautiful kitchen- a place to call our own...one day.

Well, when I got that itch I became obsessed at looking at houses to rent.  Hubbie would not hear of it.  One night he got sick of me calling to come look at THIS house.  Really it was beautiful.  Get off the couch and drag your bootie in here finally told me we were not moving unless it was into our own house.  Now, to be fair we have moved SEVEN times since we have been married, yes SEVEN!  Well, once Ryan told me that I started looking at houses to buy.  It seemed unbelievable.  I did it all out at first and then half-heartedly.  I didn't want to get my hopes up only to be disappointed.  And then we called a realtor.  And talked to the finance guy. And it was set.  We were going to buy a house.  Just like that.  It seemed to happen so quickly.  We found our house and fell in love.  Worried and stressed and hassled our agent we moved in the week of Thanksgiving.  Yes, apparently we are masochists. :)

I know you must be wondering what does this have to do with blogs?  Patience :)

While waiting for closing I started searching all the home improvements I wanted to tackle DIY style in our soon to be very first home SQUEAL :)  And I came across a blog.  My very first, Young House Love.  I loved the simplicity of this blog.  If they could do all these things so could we!  I read all their past posts and took in all the information I could on how I could improve our house with little money and lots of elbow grease.  I was a sponge.  It was my crack.  I would excitedly call Ryan over, "Look Babe.  They tell us exactly how to paint our cabinets.  Look how EASY it is.  We can tooootalllly do that too :)"

Then one day I noticed their BLOG ROLL.  I don't think they call it that but it's essentially what it is.  Anyhow, I started reading all these design blogs and started bookmarking like crazy all the blogs I liked.  Not only were these women inspirational(they are crafty like crazy) but they are so nice. Well, in bloggyland anyway.  But I collected all these blogs to get inspired from and started bookmarking all my project ideas.  I have so many it can be completely overwhelming.  Lots of these women host giveaways or linky parties to showcase other people's creativity and talents.  I always lurk and try and find new blogs and more inspiration.  But that's all I ever do.  I only look.  I never post anything.  I am afraid.

I started this blog for my husband.  To keep him connected to what we are doing at home while he is on deployment.  I also thought it would be great for our family (who all live at least 10 hours away) to see our new house and the boys.  But noone knows about it. It's not even public.  Only I can see it right now.  How awful is that?  I would love to open it up to my family and friends and even share ideas with other women like me out there but it's so intimidating.  I have to remind myself that things take time.  I am not going to have a showcase ready house right thisveryminute.  It will take time. I am not going to be the craftiest motherwhatter out there.  I need to be okay with that.  I need to be more than okay with that. I need to be happy with it.  Do you ever feel that way?

So here is my point.  Do I take my little blog public and share it with others? Or do I continue to hoard it...?  Haha... When I put it that way....  Also, does this mean all these posts have been a little creepy because essentially I have been talking to myself?

Oh and BTW one day soon I will have pictures of my house on my blog.  Hubs won't let me load pictures on our ancient computer.  Something out it imploding...  I don't know.  We plan on getting a new one in the near future.  Maybe I'll go public then :)

Time for bed and a good book...